THE EYES JUST MIGHT HAVE IT

Of all the body language tips that speaking coaches impart, there’s one MIA:  The eyes. 

Presenters are trained to rehearse-rehearse-rehearse.  Know your content.  Use appropriate hand gestures and emphases.  Forget the PowerPoint.  And train your eyes on a specific spot in the audience.

What’s forgotten today, for speakers and for anyone who communicates at any time, is the importance of the eyes.  In U.S. culture, looking down, staring, even a diffident gaze signals a non-listening stance, sometimes to the extent of inauthenticity.  That i-behavior can be seen in meetings, during one-on-one conversations, even in small groups.

Why? 

First, it’s hard to hold a confident and respectful gaze for a longer period of time.  [Try it.] 

Second, we’re very accustomed to looking here and there – at our laptops, on our smartphones, at the whiteboard … anywhere, but at the chairperson or speaker.  Some smart meeting organizers ban technology; it makes for a much more productive event. 

Third, because so many of us work virtually or remotely and don’t have to interface with folks every day, we forget.  The i-behavior is endemic and irritating, for sure, but how many of us notice it?  [Probably because we’re all guilty.]

Why eyes?  [We could list all the “eye” quotes, but we’ll spare you.]  It’s all about bonding, pure and simple, whether with an audience of 1,500 or during an intimate conversation.  To connect emotionally, experts recommend eye contact (without fussing or fidgeting) for 60 to 70 percent of the time an individual’s engaged.  Today’s standard – from 30 to 60 percent – is one good reason why communications doesn’t always resonate or persuade.

There is a caveat, of course:  Other cultures, other countries consider eye contact rude, unapproachable.  The Japanese, for instance, lower their eyes as a gesture of respect when speaking to a superior.  Direct  gazes are unacceptable in certain Muslim areas.

What eye-habit works everywhere on Earth?  Forget the eye rolls.

ABCs* WE NEED TO MASTER

The days of Willy Loman are gone.  Long gone.

Along with, we hope, Ricky Ross and his colleagues from Glengarry Glen Ross.

Yet Arthur Miller and David Mamet’s plays continue to be revived year after year.

Perhaps it’s because today’s sales pro is still a breed apart.  These highly skilled practitioners live for meetings, listen with care, present dynamically, overcome objections, excel at negotiations, and drive for the deal.  Rightfully so, their contributions to the bottom line can be easily calculated. 

Many of us might not immediately accept that selling has become part of our job portfolios.  “Not my competency,” we’ll say.  Or simply sidestep the issue, knowing that handling rejection and mastering cold calls is integral to success.

Wait.  Ever accompany your deal-making counterparts to a prospect or new client meeting?  If you have, no doubt you’ve noticed a few similarities:

• Preparation is first and in-depth, well before the initial meeting.
• They ask great questions – and listen hard to the answers.
• Their to-the-point presentations zero in on benefits and value added.

Which is what we do.  Or should do.

To aspire to become trusted advisors in marketing, in branding, in design, in communications, we need to think about, first, when we sell – and second, how well we do it.   How often have you negotiated for more resources or a longer lead time?  When advocating that a new tool be implemented, do you develop a business case to present for leadership buy-in?  Are you comfortable with an “ask” of any kind?

Selling is now a science, with rigorous processes to adopt.  A few dozen business schools offer courses.  More than a handful of companies and coaches specialize in teaching industry-specific skills – to those working in professional services, within healthcare, for high tech.  Our consulting friends and colleagues have gone through innumerable strategic selling sessions to better their client skills.

It happens every day, in email, on the phone, with a presentation.  Are you ready?      

*Otherwise known as Always-Be-Closing.